We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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