I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
