roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i think i just lost a toe
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
