Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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