So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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