Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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