i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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