Screwed.edu
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
