their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize