i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
