you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
