just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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