Me too!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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