So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
