I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
