Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
