i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize