he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
