Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
