I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
