dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
