why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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