There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
