My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
