guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
