What did we do last night that was yellow?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
