she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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