it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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