Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
