Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
