you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize