I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
