we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
