dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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