If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
