all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
