i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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