dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you never un-have a 4some
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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