oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Watching her eat just hurts me
I won't apologize to a one balled man
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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