I need help removing her.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
