i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
