i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
