i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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