addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
