And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
tell me about the eggs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
