dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize