I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
