Screwed.edu
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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