I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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