1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
