I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
