We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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