the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
