Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
