Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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