All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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