google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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