That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
