But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So. Much. Porn.
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