your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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