i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
