She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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