Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
